The egg

You were on your way home when you died.
It was a car accident. Nothing particularly remarkable, but fatal nonetheless. You left behind a wife and two children. It was a painless death. The EMTs tried their best to save you, but to no avail. Your body was so utterly shattered you were better off, trust me.
And that’s when you met me.
“What… what happened?” You asked. “Where am I?”
“You died,” I said, matter-of-factly. No point in mincing words.
“There was a… a truck and it was skidding…”
“Yup,” I said.
“I… I died?”
“Yup. But don’t feel bad about it. Everyone dies,” I said.
You looked around. There was nothingness. Just you and me. “What is this place?” You asked. “Is this the afterlife?”
“More or less,” I said.
“Are you god?” You asked.
“Yup,” I replied. “I’m God.”
“My kids… my wife,” you said.
“What about them?”
“Will they be all right?”
“That’s what I like to see,” I said. “You just died and your main concern is for your family. That’s good stuff right there.”
You looked at me with fascination. To you, I didn’t look like God. I just looked like some man. Or possibly a woman. Some vague authority figure, maybe. More of a grammar school teacher than the almighty.
“Don’t worry,” I said. “They’ll be fine. Your kids will remember you as perfect in every way. They didn’t have time to grow contempt for you. Your wife will cry on the outside, but will be secretly relieved. To be fair, your marriage was falling apart. If it’s any consolation, she’ll feel very guilty for feeling relieved.”
“Oh,” you said. “So what happens now? Do I go to heaven or hell or something?”
“Neither,” I said. “You’ll be reincarnated.”
“Ah,” you said. “So the Hindus were right,”
“All religions are right in their own way,” I said. “Walk with me.”
You followed along as we strode through the void. “Where are we going?”
“Nowhere in particular,” I said. “It’s just nice to walk while we talk.”
“So what’s the point, then?” You asked. “When I get reborn, I’ll just be a blank slate, right? A baby. So all my experiences and everything I did in this life won’t matter.”
“Not so!” I said. “You have within you all the knowledge and experiences of all your past lives. You just don’t remember them right now.”
I stopped walking and took you by the shoulders. “Your soul is more magnificent, beautiful, and gigantic than you can possibly imagine. A human mind can only contain a tiny fraction of what you are. It’s like sticking your finger in a glass of water to see if it’s hot or cold. You put a tiny part of yourself into the vessel, and when you bring it back out, you’ve gained all the experiences it had.
“You’ve been in a human for the last 48 years, so you haven’t stretched out yet and felt the rest of your immense consciousness. If we hung out here for long enough, you’d start remembering everything. But there’s no point to doing that between each life.”
“How many times have I been reincarnated, then?”
“Oh lots. Lots and lots. An in to lots of different lives.” I said. “This time around, you’ll be a Chinese peasant girl in 540 AD.”
“Wait, what?” You stammered. “You’re sending me back in time?”
“Well, I guess technically. Time, as you know it, only exists in your universe. Things are different where I come from.”
“Where you come from?” You said.
“Oh sure,” I explained “I come from somewhere. Somewhere else. And there are others like me. I know you’ll want to know what it’s like there, but honestly you wouldn’t understand.”
“Oh,” you said, a little let down. “But wait. If I get reincarnated to other places in time, I could have interacted with myself at some point.”
“Sure. Happens all the time. And with both lives only aware of their own lifespan you don’t even know it’s happening.”
“So what’s the point of it all?”
“Seriously?” I asked. “Seriously? You’re asking me for the meaning of life? Isn’t that a little stereotypical?”
“Well it’s a reasonable question,” you persisted.
I looked you in the eye. “The meaning of life, the reason I made this whole universe, is for you to mature.”
“You mean mankind? You want us to mature?”
“No, just you. I made this whole universe for you. With each new life you grow and mature and become a larger and greater intellect.”
“Just me? What about everyone else?”
“There is no one else,” I said. “In this universe, there’s just you and me.”
You stared blankly at me. “But all the people on earth…”
“All you. Different incarnations of you.”
“Wait. I’m everyone!?”
“Now you’re getting it,” I said, with a congratulatory slap on the back.
“I’m every human being who ever lived?”
“Or who will ever live, yes.”
“I’m Abraham Lincoln?”
“And you’re John Wilkes Booth, too,” I added.
“I’m Hitler?” You said, appalled.
“And you’re the millions he killed.”
“I’m Jesus?”
“And you’re everyone who followed him.”
You fell silent.
“Every time you victimized someone,” I said, “you were victimizing yourself. Every act of kindness you’ve done, you’ve done to yourself. Every happy and sad moment ever experienced by any human was, or will be, experienced by you.”
You thought for a long time.
“Why?” You asked me. “Why do all this?”
“Because someday, you will become like me. Because that’s what you are. You’re one of my kind. You’re my child.”
“Whoa,” you said, incredulous. “You mean I’m a god?”
“No. Not yet. You’re a fetus. You’re still growing. Once you’ve lived every human life throughout all time, you will have grown enough to be born.”
“So the whole universe,” you said, “it’s just…”
“An egg.” I answered. “Now it’s time for you to move on to your next life.”
And I sent you on your way.

The Egg
By: Andy Weir

Oh please don't barrage me with the questions to all those ugly answers.

"My ego's like my stomach,it keeps shitting what I feed it." :))

Sunt un pod

Can't say much of anything that's new. Doar atat:

Sint un pod peste riu,
Catre tine mereu,
Pe nimic sprijinit,
Doar pe sufletul meu.

Acest riu nemilos
Ma va sparge-n bucati,
Starea mea o-nteleg,
Dar si tu seama da-ti.

Sint un pod peste riu,
Pe pilonii mei tristi,
Catre tine mereu,
Insa tu nu existi.

Nu-ntelegi ca mi-e greu,
Ca mi-e frig si urat,
Sint greoi si sint fix,
Sint un pod si atat.

Unde-apuc sa ma duc
Sunt silit sa raman
Ca miroase a fier,
Ca miroase a fin.

Si deodata-nteleg
Ca sint trist in zadar,
Pe pilonii mei tristi
Ma cuprind si tresar.

Tu simti tot ce simt eu,
Ba mai grav, ba mai mult,
Plansul tau permanent
Il preiau si il ascult.

Si dau parca ecou
Si vibrez in alt mod,
In picioare calcat
Ca un om, ca un pod.

Sint un pod peste riu,
Sint un pod peste mers,
Cite vanturi m-au scris,
Cite ploi m-au tot sters.

Dar tu nu esti pe mal,
Dar tu nu esti cu ei,
Dar tu nu ma strivesti,
Tu ma tii si ma bei.

Sint un pod ridicat
Peste-un riu incomod,
Sint un pod, esti un riu,
Esti un riu, sunt un pod.

- Adrian Paunescu

Si da, de la Amy stiu melodia asta si da, ma intreb si eu: "does't anybody stay in one place anymore?"

Tot ce ne trebuie

Nota: Imi asum tot penibilul incercari ce va urma s-o fac.

Cred ca mi se pare doar mie, dar iubirea nu-i ceea ce cred mai toti oamenii ca e. Afectiunea e una, atasamentul este si el ceva, dar iubirea... La radio aud "I'm lost without your love and I won't survive", da e o metafora, dar eu tot incep sa cred ca nu despre asta e vorba. Si mi-e dificil sa incerc sa dau o definitie pentru ca ma simt depasita de complexitatea a ceea ce incerc sa cuprind. Eu cred ca iubirea e rara; la fel de rara ca momentele in care suntem capabili sa renuntam complet la noi. Si cand zic complet ma refer la sensul total, sincer si absolut.

In unele curente de gandire/filozifie se spune ca intelepciunea se poate atinge doar prin iubire. Si eu zic la fel, tocmai pentru ca mi se pare ca avem de strabatut un drum in care sa invatam pas cu pas ce e iubirea.

Nu cred ca iubirea "te loveste", poate ca se intampla asta cu pasiunea, curiozitatea sau instinctul, dar iubirea...

In alte perspective mai apropiate bisericii ortodoxe se vorbeste despre suferinta si faptul ca ea este necesara pentru a fi mantuit. Am sa dau si acestei idei credit. Nu vreau sa fac lucrurile complicate in mod gratuit, dar cred ca asa-numita "suferinta" face parte din viata, ne purifica, ne creste, ne invata sa deosebim binele de rau, ne aduce cu picioarele pe pamant, dar ne face si mai curajosi cand ne nom dori sa visam din nou; si, pana la urma, suferinta ne invata si sa iubim. Sau macar ne preda cate o lectie.

De asta imi place poezia, de asta imi place simfonia, arta... ofera doar stimuli pentru a percepe un mesaj asa cum il putem simti. Gasesc justificata acea amiguitate si subiectivismul lor pentru ca sunt izvorate din cele mai pure si puternice sentimente pe care nu le poti incadra in concret si atunci intervine talentul si matifestarea sa artistica.

Ma plec...

In momentele cand ma simt mica, atat de mica incat n-as fi, atunci, paradoxal ma simt mai puternica, mai linistita.

Cand stiu ca oricat as vrea, oricat m-as perpeli, nu pot avea ce-mi doresc cel mai mult, aflu ca nu trebuie sa folosesc superlative pentru dorinte si ca totul este exact asa cum trebuie sa fie.

Atunci cand vreau totul, cand nu-mi ajunge, cand cer in plus, cand simt lipsa unui surplus, atunci sunt mai pustie si mai goala ca oricand.

Ma pierd mai des decat ma aflu, dar ma intreb mereu.

Ca să poţi să te fii, stai locului şi sfinţeşte-l, iar în călătorie trimite-ţi numai ochiul.

Vai de cel care se odihneşte la umbra copacului sădit de strămoşul altuia. Lasă-te ars de soare, dacă n-ai moştenit vreo umbră de arbore. Sădeşte-te tu însuţi, dacă nu s-a sădit pentru tine! Fii strămoş, dacă n-ai avut norocul să fii strănepot.

N-am rabdare si ma consum ca o mina ce mazgaleste cate putin pe foi neincepute.

Ma analizez cel mai mult, cel mai felurit, ma cert, ma uit, ma las, ma chem, ma alung, ma urasc, ma iubesc, ma mint, ma critic, incerc in cerc sa ma inteleg, sa ma accept, sa fiu.

Dacă vrei să existe cinste şi curăţenie, fii chiar tu însuţi cinstit şi curat.

Degetele mele simt, dar mai putin decat sufletul, care calatoreste, se indragosteste, se amaraste, se inveseleste, tanjeste. Da, tanjeste... Ce cuvant. Dur, poate greu de acceptat pentru un om orgolios, dar un cuvant atat de frumos si potrivit.

Când seara s-ar face gri, Nu te-ai mai putea stăpâni...

Desi ar parea ca astept, eu nu mai astept nimic. Eu sunt mica, mica, dar atat de puternica si pot sa cred -in primul rand in mine, in rest, nu ma mai astept la nimic. Dar voi iubi mai mult, voi zambi si mai mult. Asa naiv cum suna.

Nu trăim decât o singură dată şi numai o singură viaţă.
A avea un ideal înseamnă a avea oglindă.
Într-un ideal te speli ca-ntr-o apă curată. Într-o oglindă îţi speli chipul obosit, potrivindu-ţi-l până când accepţi să fii.

1. Realize that you are employed by an organization to obtain results for that organization. You are not employed to like what you do, or to be acknowledged. Consider those just ‘bonuses’. Focus on the work itself and do your best to obtain the results you need to. The fact that you work to the best of your abilities has intrinsic value in itself. Choose to be peacefully content and train you mind-heart to produce joy when you do things with a sincere intention to do well. Remember that “a rose is beautiful whether someone looks at it or not”.

2. Remember that you are not your function, your work, your ‘success’/'failure’. Step aside from your identification with what you do and how you feel in the moment. You are many mind-events moments, and the life energy inside you, which makes these moments possible, is different than the life circumstances you experience. What kind of person do you prefer to be? Right action builds more being and being with awareness leads to right action. Is there a type of action that is ‘always’ right? Maybe the will to do, with joy and contentment, whatever needs to be done to obtain the expected results, without expectations about the nature of the results. The data obtained through an experiment can be called a success or a failure. Or they can be called nothing and be seen as mere data.

John C. Maxwell’s perspective – “The whole idea of motivation is a trap. Forget motivation. Just do it. Exercise, lose weight, test your blood sugar, or whatever. Do it without motivation. And then, guess what? After you start doing the thing, that’s when the motivation comes and makes it easy for you to keep on doing it.”